‘Yes, it takes a long time for each step in the process. The judges very meticulously examine every aspect of each case. This is why no higher court has ever over ruled a lower court’s decision.’

I had graduated from irritated to furious. My mental voice was dripping with sarcasm when next I spoke, ‘I have a silly question for you, but I will ask anyway. If a higher court has never overturned a lower court’s ruling, why, then, is there an appeals process?’

This was a wholly unexpected question. Caught off guard, Balar muted the line and barked orders at his team of co-counsellors.

Tindo and his drunken cohorts, satisfied with their mischief, were now moving away from the Jeep. A moment after I lost site of them, I heard a door slide open, then close.

Silence.

Suddenly the door slid open again and the lizard looking creature scurried back into view. He curled his tale behind a crate—one that the little guy had been standing on next to the Jeep—and then slid it away before scurrying back out of the room.

‘It’s a failsafe,’ Balar reported loudly in my head, startling me.

‘Jeez! Turn that thing down!’

‘Even though no higher court has ever found cause to overturn…’

Balar continued speaking, but a sudden realization drowned out his words: that lizard dude had moved the crate away from the jeep!

I rolled out of my hiding spot, shove up on my feet, and dashed for the Jeep. At the last second, I used the crate that had just been moved as a springboard. The moment I leaped into the air, there was a bright flash and great WOOSH of air.

I came crashing to the ground. Right where the jeep had been.

Crap.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

Crap on a cracker!

What the heck am I supposed to do now? How was I going to get home?!

‘Can I… Can I, uh, move on now?’ asked Balar. ‘We’re running out of time.’

Oh, I’m not alone! Thank God!

‘How the heck am I supposed to get home?’ I demanded.

This was yet another completely unexpected question, but Balar was prepared for this one: ‘Your question is not a legal one and is thus outside of my purview. I have no way to address it. Now, if I may continue?’

“NO YOU MAY NOT CONTINUE!” I said aloud so that I could yell for emphasis. “HOW DO I GET HOME?”