So I found a GIGANTIC RAT hiding under my couch this morning. Took me a while to come up with a plan. Eventually I went out to the shed, gathered up some thick gloves, a hammer, goggles, and a big old towel to throw over it.

I came inside, set up a video so that, in case it attacked me, I could record the last moments of my life. I said a little prayer, worked up the nerve, and yanked that sucker out!!!

Thirty minutes of my life later, plus a small heart attack, I managed to heroically catch a stinking rubber lizard!